Emotions

Emotions…am I right?!

Has anyone ever called you moody, or sensitive, or too much? I’ve been called those before. As a female with ADHD, I have very strong emotions that can show up in extremes. If you also have ADHD, have you ever wondered why that is?

It’s not well known that emotional dysregulation is a large part of having ADHD. We feel all the normal emotions that neurotypical people feel, but greater. Our range might go from negative 2 - 12, instead of 1-10. All of this is because of executive function and working memory (or lack thereof). 

“People with ADHD struggle with a set of mental skills called executive function. These skills help us keep things in perspective and manage how we respond to situations and feelings. They include flexible thinking and impulse control.

Working memory is another executive function skill people with ADHD struggle with. They may be too focused on how they feel in this moment to keep in mind their other feelings. For example, they may feel angry and say something harsh, even though they really don't want to upset anyone.” From Understood.org ADHD and Emotions. 

Don’t get me wrong, we have executive function and working memory, but they don’t work consistently. Our neurotransmitters may not fire enough, or sometimes they fire too much. 

I’ve read where this overwhelming feeling is referred to as “flooding.” It’s like our brains get flooded with emotions, and we respond in a way that we don’t necessarily feel proud of. This can spiral into feelings of shame, embarrassment, and regret for some. 

Just know that these feelings are all normal. But it is up to us to try and figure out how best to deal with these overwhelming feelings. Counseling, medication, communication with those around you, stepping away when needed…these all sound great, and personally, I do all of these, but the feelings still come, and the big reactions still show their ugly faces. 

If you have ADHD, and you have kids with ADHD (like I do)…it feels even harder. Trying to control your emotions, while also being understanding and supportive of their emotions…let’s just say some days I feel more successful than other days.